Wednesday, April 2, 2008

It Comes Right Before "Gullible" in the Dictionary

Last week Renee and I were browsing through the Shaws produce section (btw grocery shopping with Ren has become one of my favorite chores. Really, I'm not kidding. I think because it often leads to a Sunday afternoon cooking adventure) and I saw these fancy looking apples, called "Grapples" They came in a clear plastic four pack (ooh, they must be good if they are taking such care to avoid bruising) Initially I thought "what a crappy name." Makes me think of wrestling. But according to the package, it should be pronounced with a long "A" -- like Gray-ple. (OK, but if they wanted that, they shouldn't have put in the two p's. Don't these people read English?)

Intrigued I read a bit further, and saw that it was a special apple that supposedly tasted like a grape.

Wow, I thought, this must be some sort of fancy hybrid or genetically modified fruit. "Hey Ren, let's try these!"

So we plunked down $4 for four apples (gosh, they must be good if they cost so much) and took em home.

As soon as we unpacked the groceries I wanted to try one. I'm not sure what I was expecting -- some new delightful blend of different fruit flavors.

What I got was the taste equivalent of Barney the Dinosaur -- the sicky sweet grape flavor was overpowering and vaguely unnatural, like someone had injected my apple with grape kool-aid.

"What sort of diabolical food product is this" I thought. Then I looked at the package, and in fine print it said "Ingredients: apples, natural and artificial flavoring"

Ingredients!?! Since when do apples have "ingredients"?

I later learned that I had been duped into buying Fuji apples that had been soaked for a while in artificially flavored grape syrup.

Ah...yes -- isn't this modern technological world amazing. Flying cars? No. Free unlimited energy? No. Apples that taste like grape candy. Yes!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Totally funny! I too have been gullible with respect to this food item. Karissa & Kaelin conned me into buying those once. And BTW, they are WRONG; it should be pronounced "Grapple", short-a sound (from Christy, english teacher extraodinaire.)

Anonymous said...

Would you like a piece of grapple pie sir?

Would you like some grapple juice?

Buncha apple fakers! HUMPH!